So, many of you asked for the original copy of the “Ain’t That a Kick in the Kunz” article to spread. Unfortunately, that was lost when it was removed from Facebook. However, I remember most of it and will sure as hell be adding the shit I saw in the comments from the thread. (Most popular and viral post ever, by the way. Over 12,000 people reached and over 100 shares and at least 300 comments. Thank you.)
Let me tell you a story or three. (Again)
Awhile back my band was invited to play a show with The Agonist and Orion Nine as the headliners. We were from three hours away and yet somehow still sold the most tickets. (Not bagging on the other bands, but this is a relevant point that will come up in a few.)
We show up to an empty venue. No fans there whatsoever. (Maybe 20 showed up total through-out the night. MAYBE) The headlining bands are already there, but in place of the promoter we talked to is one who was asked to “fill-in” last second because the original had “business to take care of.” (Turns out that business was a fishing trip. Responsibilities a little skewed, right?). Show is a colossal failure. Venue wants to shut the show down by cutting band’s sets short and I don’t fucking blame them. I’d have done the same damn thing. That place was hemorrhaging money by letting the show go on longer than it had to. The promoter blamed the entire failure on the out of town band that “couldn’t draw anyone.” (While in conversation with me he apologized over and over and told us he’d get us on a better show with a TON of money involved.) Again, we sold the most tickets. Biting the hand that feeds you, dude.
Now, a month before this I had played another show for this promoter with Psychostick, Polkadot Cadaver and Downtown Brown. Nine bands on the bill. Yes, you read that right, NINE fucking bands. Load in had to be at 3pm. That’s how many bands there fucking were. Everyone was pissed, especially the touring bands who had no clue that there were so many bands on the bill, as they hoped to be able to leave the venue before midnight or so. (Last band didn’t START playing until 1 A.M.)
Now, I forgot to mention I’d been approached by this gentleman to work with his “company” booking bands on small tours and national shows. It sounded good up until the details were laid out. Basically, I book the bands on my own dime, if the show does well, I keep the little percentage, he gets the big percentage (I can’t remember for sure but I’d swear he said a 90-10 split in his favor, but I could be wrong.) If the show fails, I’m shit out of luck and lost out all of my money invested and he walked away scott free. No me fucking gusta. I washed my hands of the situation after only twelve hours. Never even talked to or worked with a band for him.
This man’s name is John Kunz of Arrowhead Productions/Starless Agency.
This is also the same man who put together the Riverboat show where bands such as Sevendust, Taproot, and many, many more got fucked over when John made off with the ticket money. (I have heard he also got his hands onto the band’s merch money somehow, I’ll verify that soon.) All in all over $100,000 of debt was put on someone else’s shoulders that night because of him skipping out.
This is the same man who was mysteriously not prosecuted after his partner was found to be embezzling money from a local business (Ben Shawa. Google him.)
This is the same man who screwed over an entertainment related company for over ten grand and less than twenty and lost to them in court. He stopped paying his settlement fees. (I can’t mention details for fear of interfering with the suit.)
This is the man who ripped off a ton of bands at the Naughty Donkey Festival in Orleans, MI. (Whether Igorian likes to admit it or not, Kunz booked most of these bands. He made promises on Igor’s behalf that he knew Igor couldn’t keep.) He also pocketed buy –ons by lying about who was on the show in the first place. (The said DIecast was playing, who made a post about it on their Facebook page, disavowing the Naughty Donkey and said they had never heard from them at all.) Speaking of Naughty Donkey, my friend Bobby Burns from Primer 55, who was on this show, had THIS to say about Kunz:
“”Since when did they spell cunts with a K and a Z?””
This is the man who claimed to be in charge of A2 Fest in Ann Arbor, Michigan. He pocketed hundreds from local bands when in fact he had only planned on buying a stage to place some bands at A2 and never did. Those bands are all out their money and are not playing the show. (As far as my knowledge goes.) Kunz is now completely uninvolved with A2 Fest according to the actual promoter, Jeff Pittock.
The first time I was writing this I received a voicemail from John just as I was finishing the article. It was much shorter than this one and had a quote from one of the bands that he worked with. I can’t find the exact quote now, but basically the band, A Fall To Break from Arizona, paid Kunz for buy-ons to three shows and all of them failed miserably. He kept making the promises he made me. “The next one will be better.” This band drove from Arizona to Michigan to play the Naughty Donkey festival, promised that there would be over 4000 people. There were 62. I think the math was off on that one.
Anyways, the voicemail called me a “small time internet publisher with no pull” and that he “wasn’t scared and we could meet up face to face if we needed or have a conference call.” Fuck your conference call, Kunz. Fuck you, fuck Arrowhead and fuck your mother for handing you cash KNOWING that your fat ass was ripping people off!
The next show will not be better, John. You have definitely pissed off the wrong people and now it’s coming back to bite you on the fat fucking ass. You thought the last article was mean and you had it removed, so I’m not holding back this time. See, I have more information now. Over 300 comments on the original definitely had some information for me to browse over to help me hate fuck your career into the ground like a pissed off honey-badger.
So John, let me make this even more clear this time: I am coming after you. I’m not fucking stopping until you are broke and penniless. I’m not going to be happy until you have absolutely nothing left. Oh, I’ve already talked to several people who are going to be getting their court papers ready. Better scam a band to get a suit, because you’re going to need it for court. You’ve misrepresented yourself, you’ve committed fraud and embezzlement, and it ends now. You’re not going to be living the dream, you’re going to be living in a fucking box, assuming you aren’t in prison. I guess prison cells are kind of like big metal boxes. I’m organizing every single fucking person that YOU fucked over and they’re going to take turns fucking your wallet until the only options you have left is either suicide or homelessness.
Why? Because FUCK YOU, that’s why. You don’t come into my neighborhood fucking my friends over and gloating about it, thinking you’re the shit. You don’t go around fucking over the bands who work their asses off. You wouldn’t know hard work if it bit you on the ass.
I remember what the fill-in promoter said to the pissed off nationals from The Agonist show, “Welcome to a John Kunz show.”
Welcome to the Doc Brown show, motherfucker. Where I make the rules and your opinion doesn’t matter. You’re done.
Get out. Stay out.