“Ain’t that a Kick in the Kunz” (The Revised Edition) by Metal Doc Brown

So, many of you asked for the original copy of the “Ain’t That a Kick in the Kunz” article to spread. Unfortunately, that was lost when it was removed from Facebook.  However, I remember most of it and will sure as hell be adding the shit I saw in the comments from the thread. (Most popular and viral post ever, by the way. Over 12,000 people reached and over 100 shares and at least 300 comments. Thank you.)

Let me tell you a story or three. (Again)

Awhile back my band was invited to play a show with The Agonist and Orion Nine as the headliners. We were from three hours away and yet somehow still sold the most tickets. (Not bagging on the other bands, but this is a relevant point that will come up in a few.)

We show up to an empty venue. No fans there whatsoever. (Maybe 20 showed up total through-out the night. MAYBE) The headlining bands are already there, but in place of the promoter we talked to is one who was asked to “fill-in” last second because the original had “business to take care of.” (Turns out that business was a fishing trip. Responsibilities a little skewed, right?). Show is a colossal failure. Venue wants to shut the show down by cutting band’s sets short and I don’t fucking blame them. I’d have done the same damn thing. That place was hemorrhaging money by letting the show go on longer than it had to.  The promoter blamed the entire failure on the out of town band that “couldn’t draw anyone.” (While in conversation with me he apologized over and over and told us he’d get us on a better show with a TON of money involved.) Again, we sold the most tickets. Biting the hand that feeds you, dude.

Now, a month before this I had played another show for this promoter with Psychostick, Polkadot Cadaver and Downtown Brown.  Nine bands on the bill. Yes, you read that right, NINE fucking bands. Load in had to be at 3pm. That’s how many bands there fucking were. Everyone was pissed, especially the touring bands who had no clue that there were so many bands on the bill, as they hoped  to be able to leave the venue before midnight or so. (Last band didn’t START playing until 1 A.M.)

Now, I forgot to mention I’d been approached by this gentleman to work with his “company” booking bands on small tours and national shows. It sounded good up until the details were laid out. Basically, I book the bands on my own dime, if the show does well, I keep the little percentage, he gets the big percentage (I can’t remember for sure but I’d swear he said a 90-10 split in his favor, but I could be wrong.)  If the show fails, I’m shit out of luck and lost out all of my money invested and he walked away scott free. No me fucking gusta.  I washed my hands of the situation after only twelve hours. Never even talked to or worked with a band for him.

This man’s name is John Kunz of Arrowhead Productions/Starless Agency.

This is also the same man who put together the Riverboat show where bands such as Sevendust, Taproot, and many, many more got fucked over when John made off with the ticket money. (I have heard he also got his hands onto the band’s merch money somehow, I’ll verify that soon.) All in all over $100,000 of debt was put on someone else’s shoulders that night because of him skipping out.

This is the same man who was mysteriously not prosecuted after his partner was found to be embezzling money from a local business (Ben Shawa. Google him.)

This is the same man who screwed over an entertainment related company for over ten grand and less than twenty and lost to them in court. He stopped paying his settlement fees. (I can’t mention details for fear of interfering with the suit.)

This is the man who ripped off a ton of bands at the Naughty Donkey Festival in Orleans, MI. (Whether Igorian likes to admit it or not, Kunz booked most of these bands. He made promises on Igor’s behalf that he knew Igor couldn’t keep.) He also pocketed buy –ons by lying about who was on the show in the first place. (The said DIecast was playing, who made a post about it on their Facebook page, disavowing the Naughty Donkey and said they had never heard from them at all.)  Speaking of Naughty Donkey, my friend Bobby Burns from Primer 55, who was on this show, had THIS to say about Kunz:

“”Since when did they spell cunts with a K and a Z?””

This is the man who claimed to be in charge of A2 Fest in Ann Arbor, Michigan. He pocketed hundreds from local bands when in fact he had only planned on buying a stage to place some bands at A2 and never did. Those bands are all out their money and are not playing the show. (As far as my knowledge goes.) Kunz is now completely uninvolved with A2 Fest according to the actual promoter, Jeff Pittock.

The first time I was writing this I received a voicemail from John just as I was finishing the article. It was much shorter than this one and had a quote from one of the bands that he worked with. I can’t find the exact quote now, but basically the band, A Fall To Break from Arizona, paid Kunz for buy-ons to three shows and all of them failed miserably. He kept making the  promises he made me. “The next one will be better.” This band drove from Arizona to Michigan to play the Naughty Donkey festival, promised that there would be over 4000 people. There were 62. I think the math was off on that one.

Anyways, the voicemail called me a “small time internet publisher with no pull” and that he “wasn’t scared and we could meet up face to face if we needed  or have a conference call.” Fuck your conference call, Kunz. Fuck you, fuck Arrowhead and fuck your mother for handing you cash KNOWING that your fat ass was ripping people off!

The next show will not be better, John. You have definitely pissed off the wrong people and now it’s coming back to bite you on the fat fucking ass. You thought the last article was mean and you had it removed, so I’m not holding back this time. See, I have more information now. Over 300 comments on the original definitely had some information for me to browse over to help me hate fuck your career into the ground like a pissed off honey-badger.

So John, let me make this even more clear this time: I am coming after you. I’m not fucking stopping until you are broke and penniless. I’m not going to be happy until you have absolutely nothing left. Oh, I’ve already talked to several people who are going to be getting their court papers ready. Better scam a band to get a suit, because you’re going to need it for court.  You’ve misrepresented yourself, you’ve committed fraud and embezzlement, and it ends now.  You’re not going to be living the dream, you’re going to be living in a fucking box, assuming you aren’t in prison. I guess prison cells are kind of like big metal boxes.  I’m organizing every single fucking person that YOU fucked over and they’re going to take turns fucking your wallet until the only options you have left is either suicide or homelessness.

Why? Because FUCK YOU, that’s why. You don’t come into my neighborhood fucking my friends over and gloating about it, thinking you’re the shit. You don’t go around fucking over the bands who work their asses off. You wouldn’t know hard work if it bit you on the ass.

I remember what the fill-in promoter said to the pissed off nationals from The Agonist show, “Welcome to a John Kunz show.”

Welcome to the Doc Brown show, motherfucker. Where I make the rules and your opinion doesn’t matter.  You’re done.

Get out. Stay out.

16 thoughts on ““Ain’t that a Kick in the Kunz” (The Revised Edition) by Metal Doc Brown

  1. not to mention the roughly $18000 he stiffed AJ at Planet Rock for in Battle Creek, Mi, when he attempted to buy the venue from her and I was involved in Showboat and all the things you said were spot on…the money he took from the merch sales $1900 in cas was supposedly to pay for Fuel before they would perform since he didnt have any money to pay off the rest of the nationals. It was a mess and i got left answering questions and running the second stage by myself after 48 hours with no sleep because I was covering all his mistakes…I have so many stories about him

    • Bruce. Love to hear some more. JK scammed a friend of mine in the Fox Valley (WI), a band gear rental vendor. He is owed $2,500.00, and wants to go after John for it. Please email me at promoterrep@aol.com with more detailed information please.

    • Bruce between you ,I and the number of bands he has fucked and the only good thing that came for AJ(remember I was even trying to get a benifit set up for her to get money to pay the taxes and all were John screwed her) anyway the best thing from all of the Planet Rock Nightmare was Jeff & Buffy Harris they came and bought PR and that took the biggest weight of of AJ and I have to say could not have been two better people to save the venue!!! And for Kunz as long as these dumb asses keep believing in him what can be done,people take him to court and he just doesn’t show up and now he is working under another company’s name and one of my old bands have gone to that company for booking like wtf wake up bands!!!!

  2. Yep. Screwed me over on Rock The Ranch. Still owes me money. Thank god I didn’t give him investment money for that festival. Would you give that kind of money to a guy who shows up in shorts and flip flops? Ha! Idiot!

  3. THANK YOU AND THE BANDS WHO KEEP ON TRUCKING WITH AWESOME JAMS

  4. One of the things I am most positive about John Kunz fucking me over on $100k in cash was that the money I invested in Showboat was wired directly to the bands agents bank accounts for deposit on guarantee. Although, about $20k did go direct to John or to his mom Ruth Ann’s bank account or by “Walmarting” the $$.

    I have a lot to share as I can. Everything is backed by wire initiation forms, emails, texts, voicemails, other associated parties stories/comments/concerns/views and more.

    • Jeff the good old Walmart to get your money I was so sick of bands calling me from a walmart waiting on their money and he owed me for writting cks when I was there last feb at Planet Rock he had no money for the liqure or the beer 800 bucks I wrote out and had one hell of a time getting that back but I had to go to walmart he owes me for over a yrs pay plus for him not telling us that when you walk in his old apt that there was a basement right when you go through the door he cut no lights on for us and I turned to tell Andrea to get JK(asshole) phone and fell in the basement I ended up having to get surgery for a broken bone in my elbow and he never gave a shit and never sent a penny for the hospital and dr bills so all that together and my pay around 90,000 but hell he has nothing what can you do -Thank you Jeff for saving AJ,Planet Rock and the bands you so Rock!!!

    • Help me find this guy and my client, Elite Security Service, Inc., will make it worth your while,

  5. I manage two bands he owes more then $10k to. I’m more then happy to talk about the suit I just filed last week.

  6. Count me in for owed money/empty promises too. Just wait until Saturday…hopefully it provides everyone owed/screwed/kunzed a smile

  7. Wow. We are supposed to play at this year’s A2 Fest. John said he is going to pay us $500. Holy shit.

  8. Seriously why would a business owner have money deposited in his mothers account???? Wouldn’t a legitimate business have a Business account set up with the business?????

  9. Well, I almost feel guilty for posting this, but I just think in order to have a balanced discussion all of the evidence needs to be put forth.

    My band played at the A2 Fest this past weekend and were pretty skeptical how it would go for us, having read this blog and other reviews of John Kunz. We were still skeptical when John asked us if he could write us a check for our performance.

    I’m relieved to say that the check cleared into our bank account this morning.

    I did have John sign a Performance Contract, so I’m not sure if that had anything to do with it. But I would strongly encourage ALL musicians/vendors, etc., to operate with contracts in future. My band will NEVER commit to something like this without doing so. Because if they don’t want to sign, you’re probably going to get screwed.

    Anyway, I can’t say how sorry I am for everyone that has gotten screwed in the past. As a struggling musician in a growing band, it would have been – not devastating, but hard for us – had the funds not come through. At this point, we made a profit from our most recent venture now that this final reckoning is complete.

    But again, I think it is as important to compliment and blast out about good behavior as it is to let everyone know about the bad behavior. Hopefully, just that alone can encourage a bad business person to do right by people in and of itself.

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