In most cases, gender is irrelevant. Some cases in which it might apply are when considering that different people have different points of view, or sexual attraction. Gender certainly has no bearing, however, on a person’s musical talent, ability to organize events, dedication to supporting bands, or genuineness as a person. Having a penis doesn’t necessarily give a person better skill, loyalty, or depth of character.
That it does, however, seems to be a commonly-held belief among guys in the metal scene. Don’t get me wrong, I love dudes. Most of my friends are male, and some guys are even pretty fun to sleep with. From my personal experience, I don’t see the misogynistic attitude from guys in bands, many of them are great people and great to work with. The problem seems to come from guys who attend the larger local shows. According to their treatment, having a dick means they automatically know more than me, even though they know nothing about me.
Their view of women at shows seems to fall into one of two categories: either they’re “a band member’s girlfriend/wife” or they’re “just out to try to fuck a guy in a band.” There’s nothing wrong with dating a guy in a band, regardless of whether the woman is into the scene on her own accord or not, we like who we like. And nobody is “just somebody’s girlfriend/wife,” they’re people who are worth trying to get to know. If they suck or have no personality, it is what it is, but that assumption can’t and shouldn’t be made right off the bat.
As for trying to get laid by a dude in band, there truly are some girls who do that, they’re easy to spot at shows by the way they act. I’ve never understood that, as whether a guy is a musician has no effect on whether I find him attractive, but I guess these girls feel they are nobodies by themselves and can become “somebody” only by injection. Pathetic.
I read an article on a metal site that was written by a different girl, about this same topic. She stated that women should go out of their way to “prove” they are truly into metal. Such as mosh, headbang, always wear band shirts, and make a point to talk to guys about music. She then went on to talk about how she can get away with all kinds of shit and get any guy to do what she wants because she has a vagina.
In my opinion, that’s even more sexist than the male point of view I discussed above. Many of us got into metal/punk/whatever because we didn’t identify with the way mainstream society wanted us to be. Why create “rules” in a subculture full of people who didn’t want to “follow the rules?” I say we rock out to bands the way we want, wear what we want, and talk about what we want, and that goes for both female and male. If a person is real, he or she doesn’t feel the need to prove anything, genuineness is evident from his or her actions and character.
Women are people, and should be treated as such, unless individuals give people reasons not to do so to those individuals. Women who play music get less support, get called “posers,” and get their looks and attractiveness discussed much more often than their talent or sound. Sluts are glorified and worshipped, while real and true supporters of the scene are dismissed and excluded. There is absolutely no reason to assume without knowing anything about her, that somebody deserves less respect. Metal is a brother and sisterhood, whether some people want to accept it or not. All the talk I hear about “brotherhood” comes out sounding like “we don’t want evil vaginas at our sausage party.” Think about it. The idea of “unity in the scene” can’t happen until the notion that one gender is better than another, is seen as the ridiculous and antiquated garbage that it is.