“I done shot that horse!” by Mad Dog Tannen

Internet history is no different than regular life history. It fucking repeats. And here it is again staring me in the face. I’m talking about Facebook bands. Remember bands who got popular from Myspace? We have it again. Only with a twist. See, Myspace bands got popular from the internet due to how fast word of them can be carried. This means you had to be doing something new and pretty goddamned special. Or horrible.

Lately, though, I’m seeing neither. There’s just this gray goo bands are floating in and expecting the internet to be their ticket to success. Doc already hinted on this, but what the hell is up with you bands constantly badgering us poor Facebook users with link after link after link after link after motherfucking link? Do you know what desensitization is? It’s when someone is exposed to something so very often they no longer have any reaction, positive or negative. It’s a very simple concept and I shouldn’t be explaining it, nor even having to say the damn word. 10 times out of 10 I find myself completely skipping over your sea of links without even realizing it. Until lately, that is. Lately I’ve been marking them as spam. Because that’s what it fucking is. I shouldn’t have to scroll 3/4 of the way down a page to see a different update. That is ass.

Now if this were for a unique band, I would probably just let it go as a light “ok guys, we get the point”. But no. 90% of the time all this spamming is done by bands that are mediocre as all hell. Not all mind you, but most. That’s great these bands are out there. You’re supporting the scene even in your own little way. But despite what you may have thought up, you aren’t the bee’s golden fucking knees. Spamming the living daylights out of the internet is not going to make you any better nor anymore popular. Nor does the number of “likes” on your page relate to how successful of a band you are. That’s like saying that jackhole at Taco Bell who fucks up every order is good at his job just because every customer sees him. To us out here in reality, all this nagging is making us care that much less. Where’s the anticipation? The tact? You’re essentially mimicking the 70’s action movie genre and narrating your every move. If your band is doing well, great, but for Howard the Fuck’s sake stop spreading it around like butter, or in this case sun baked mayo.

 Christ, being in a band takes more outward psychology than I thought….more on that next time. .


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