“What’s the matter, chicken?” by Doc Brown

Alright. Time to name some names.

Sin Theorem, you are the guiltiest motherfuckers alive when it comes to nagging the shit out of your fans.  If we WANT to vote for you, we will, stop nagging the fuck out of us. You post so fucking much I’ve removed you from my news feed.

Nurse Ratched, you rarely post. You should probably at least announce your shows.

Bruxism, stop trying to be the token outcasts in the Michigan Metal Scene. We get it, your grind and your different, but wanting us to say something negative about you just makes you look ridiculous or starved for attention.

Medica, stop thinking you’re the greatest thing to come out of Michigan. You’re fucking nu-metal, not “Switchcore” as you like to call the shit. You are not good, please stop calling yourself heavy. You’re probably going to whine and cry about this just like you whine and cry about everything else.

It Lies Within, everyone I’ve talked to says “Stop being a bunch of dicks and appreciate everything, don’t take it for granted.” The worst possible thing you can do is have the entire metal scene pissed off at you.

Some people in general I’d like to slap:

Local bands who just started practicing who have a Street Team page.

Local bands who have a manager (See Mad Dog’s Article for more on this)

Emo is not metal, GTFO.

Scene girls. I’ll fuck you, but be 18 and not an annoying cunt.

Kids who start a band and then have only their parents show up. Seriously, this isn’t your high school prom.


Venues who can fuck off:

The Modern Exchange for being douche bags.

Harpo’s because they’re….well, Harpo’s.


Feel free to add to this list.





31 thoughts on ““What’s the matter, chicken?” by Doc Brown

  1. “Jim Albrecht likes this”

  2. And 1 of said bands will beg for a show @ a local venue and never return a show trade. Talk shit to people you know about your band. Cancel their appearance then put you on the bill, tell the owner “oh these guys took over” only to find out the day of or after the fact. And their merch guy is almost a thief! I write “almost” because I did get the $ back, 7 fucking months later!! Yeah yeah they be getting big and maybe one day get signed. But I have no respect for assholes, and their asshole ways…

  3. This is wonderful. Thank you for finally saying something, I think this is long over due. I have one more thing to add……..YOU ARE A FUCKING IDIOT IF YOU PUT 6 BANDS WHO EITHER ONE, NO ONE HAS HEARD OF, OR TWO, ARE NOT FUCKING HEAVY METAL ON A FLYER AND WRITE “6 HUGE METAL BANDS” NO ONE GIVES A FLYING FUCK ABOUT THEM. Stop trying to make these bands bigger than they are…..THAT RIGHT THERE ruins it for the bands who ACTUALLY deserve it. And for the bands who think that they are the greatest thing that has ever come out of Michigan, when you are a fucking alternative rock band or “nu-metal”……stop what you are doing now, get your own fucking scene.

    • Wow. I am gonna try to take the flyer comment personally and be ever-so-pleased that my flyers are getting this much attention, especially from someone who has never been to one of my shows yet brags about supporting the “scene.” And if ya don’t like the flyer, well, I’m not sorry. And if you haven’t ever heard of these bands or even know how heavy they actually are, then maybe you should ACTUALLY supporting the “scene” and local music by GOING. It must be SO easy to be an armchair show & band critic without actually getting off your self-awarded high horse & ass to go to a show, lady. And that leads me to my next point, who are YOU to criticize me, the bands I work with, or my shows? At least I am doing something to support local metal besides sitting on a computer all pouty touting that my boyfriendzls band is the only “real metal” band out there. If you knew thing one about PR you’d realize this is hurting that band more than helping. Shut up & help the local metal scene if you’re going to blast your skewed opinion or just shut up and lay off those who are actually trying to help those hard working bands you so easily bash. You admit you don’t know them so until you’ve checked them out, keep your opinions about them (and my posters) to yourself. Your negativity is NOT helping your boy’s band, local music, god bands or THE SCENE. So knock it off lady & grow up. 🙂

  4. Wait wait wait…….”switchcore”? What the fuck? They better change genders mid-breakdown to start a genre as dumb sounding as that. What the fuck…

    Also, that’s sad It Lies Within is getting that reputation. I knew them when they were still Forethought and were a pretty bitchin bunch of dudes back then. Always reliable for show trades and helped promote the living fuck out of bands they got to play with. Don’t know what happened since then but they need to cut the bullshit and go back to the attitude that got them where they are.

  5. wow! Hate much? No offense, but who are you anyway that ppl should listen to your opinion? Nice to see we’re at the top of your list too. Just like MANY other lists that put us in the top. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again… You can’t make an omellette without breakin a few eggs. Meaning you can’t please everyone all the time and we don’t try to. Our merch guy is me and Bash is STILL crying about a trade that went sour after it was made good (yes long after, and an apology was accepted then talk more shit… MATURE). Oh well. The list of Haters grows (along with success will ALWAYS come jealousy), and so does the SINNERS. The Haters can watch from the back of the venue while we fill it! See you guys @ the shows that we pack. Have fun hatin and talkin shit and see where it gets ya.

  6. I guess it’s nice to see that “Doc Brown” is bitchin that we promote TOO hard… Sorry we actually do the rest of the job a lot of bands forget about… Not mentioning any names… Ritual Suicide. Enjoy ur tens of ppl @ ur cd release party. Had to bring it down to ur level Bash-hole hahahaaaa. Have fun wallowing in ur jealousy.

  7. i love this! thank you for writing about us! keep up the great promo for It Lies Within!

  8. Alex, there is nothing wrong with promoting a lot, but seeing 50 different posts on every Metal page I subscribe to EVERY DAY in my news feed on my phone does get annoying lol. If what people say really doesn’t bother you…ignore it and move on. If I got mad about everything negative said about us, I’d always be angry.

    I’m also sure there will be more people than you think at Ritual Suicide’s CD release show. With us(Genocya), Hokori, and Theocracide on the bill…there is no way that level of brutality can be denied!

    I didn’t “like” this article because of what was said about Sin Theorem, even if I am annoyed by all the spam posts haha. Those guys have always been cool to us when we’ve played shows together and I have no reason to hate on them or any of their members.

    In short…not everyone will like your band no matter what you do. Some will not be nice about it. Forget about it and move on. 🙂

  9. “Bands who actually deserve it….” or “Bands “NOBODY has ever heard of”…”Not Heavy Metal”…”No one gives a flying…” Bands have fans-you may not be one of them, but at least they know where you stand.

  10. you have “heard” we have an ego problem huh? it sounds to me like you should stop listening to what people say and come find out for yourself. just look at the posts of our facebook. our fans are loyal and will tell you the truth behind all of this. come to a show and meet us. we just simply like to party!

    as far as all in good fun goes, controversy sells yes but im sure that was not your intentions.

    again thank you for the great promotion as you have helped us gain tons of hits on our social sites due to this review!

    • As I’ve said before and will say again, I enjoy your music. I’ve seen you live before. I have 46 votes for you guys and everyone had the same problem. I DIDN’T CHOOSE THE BAND THIS PARTICULAR WEEK. Side note: I also like to party.

  11. As a fan of It Lies Within I think that maybe you have been talking to the wrong people. I moved to Flint in December and didnt hear of the local bar until late January, i met these fellas at a local bar, made friends with them before I knew they were in a band. They took me under their wing showed me the ropes of partying then told me about the band. These guys do no have an ego problem, they are the coolest cats on a stage right now. Right now, i am drinking and enjpying pizza with 3 of 5 band members as a going away party, I move back to g.r. tomorrow and plan on showing my support of this killer band on the west side of the state! These posts help them because of the ridiculousness of the statement…….

  12. Hey Jim, I agree it IS annoying and I was just bitchin about that the other day… That is the stuff that killed myspace and I believe that it is bands that will kill facebook too. But the 80 some THOUSAND hits on our Reverbnation page and bein a featured artist on there and bein listed steadily in the 30’s nationally as well came from somewhere, and it wasn’t from bein quiet on the internet. Promotion is the KEY to this business. Without advertising you can be the best band in the world and no one will know who you are. Ever hear a band and go “How did this shit get signed?”. Here’s how… advertising. You don’t have to BE the best band to get somewhere… You just have to be decent with GREAT advertising and we prove it regularly. I wasn’t mad, the dig at Bash was a dif deal. This stuff makes me laugh and is also GREAT advertising! ttys… Keep up the hate ppl, it fuels the \m/ METAL \m/

  13. Just seems like people cant take some criticism. Either way atleast people are talking about you. No need to restate how great you are

  14. 🙂 Local bands with management, eh? My husband and I have been managing Battlecross since late 2007 (or early 2008?), but we found THEM and invested in them, and kicked our asses in developing crazy relationships and investing resources in them to make sure that the world heard their amazing awesomeness. My husband saw it immediately: very good, raw talent that could achieve some success with a business plan in place.

    What is REALLY should drive you nuts, as it drives me nuts (because i get hit up daily!), is when local bands ‘seek’ management—Please folks, when you’re ready for a manager, you’ll know it because Management will FIND YOU!…They’ll make an investment in you, believing so much in you so that they’ll do what they can to make your dreams come true AND see a return on their investment. You are ready for the big time when real business folks come knocking on YOUR door…

    Worse: Local bullshit ‘promoters’ that will call themselves a manager. A real manager will discover you and have the business background, enough smarts to learn the ins and outs of the industry (not just in Michigan)–how to buy talent, how to set up contracts, how to book shows, how to negotiate, how to develop relationships with national acts, festival and tour organizers, booking agents, artist management companies, build a good reputation, know marketing and PR, develop relatinships with the Metal media, etc.

    Unforgivable: When an entire community of people put their faith and belief on metal webpages or websites run by novices with little or no experience in the industry, living out an unfulfilled dream of being a musician, and unknowing and unexperienced bands follow their advice and direction as if it were gospel because they’ve got a damn webpage…

  15. PS Reverbnation is not good—so please don’t use their ‘measures’ as any indicator of success—-they use pyramid marketing approach that rewards bands for virally promoting Reverbnation through the band multi-posts on various social media sites. The # of hits are actually not hits to your reverb page, they are the total number of a band’s fans from all social media sites + the Number of the impressions that those ‘autoposts’ that reverb spreads like a herpes. Reverb isnt helping bands, bands are helping Reverb, because it drives traffic to reverb where they get tons of marketing revenue from their partners who hit up all of the bands and people who occassionally check out those bands…it’s a genius business model on their end, but doesnt provide much benefit to the band.

    The rankings are based on the number of fans you reach by your multi[ple auto posts and other variables.

    Reverbnation is the next myspace. We can’t seem to get rid of it. The labels hate it…they want you to use what they use so they can measure real stats—soundcloud. that’s the first think that MB wanted to see—

  16. Also: It’s Marketing, not just advertising. Advertising is only one strategy in the overall marketing plan for your organization. Not true that marketing alone will get a band signed. You must have a great product that a label (business) feels that they can invest in, sell and earn a return on their investment.
    Strategies can include ad-buys in print, TV, radio, ad-buys via the adnetworks on the internet, paid and free social media marketing, Public Relations and Media releases, etc. Most of all, along with the good product, you need a good brand, a good logo and be appropriate and desirable to your intended audience—and you may have to test market these—hell, test market everything—see what images do best, what ad sizes do best, etc. I know that when i use the zombie gumby graphic, i get 10X more hits and conversion rates than i do when i use the logo or the cover art—so using this info to maximize and best allocate your resources for marketing is key.


    pretend like your band is the new double bacon mushroom asiago cheese whopper at Burger King and you want it to replace the big mac as the #1 burger in the world. what would you do to accomplish that? where and how would you market this burger and why? to whom? how would you convince someone to not only invest in it with marketing dollars to help it become the biggest burger and how would you compel someone to buy you and eat you? You ccan’t just put it on the menu with all of the other similar looking and tasting burgers and expect that someone is going to order you, huh?

  17. Your last few posts are exactly what people need to hear. That was the most informative set of comments I’ve seen in a long overdue time. Thank you. I was hoping someone was going to mention that basing your popularity off Reverb is a garbage idea. I figured that out when my band jumped back and forth 20 slots on the local rating just because 2 people “liked” our page. Keep up the good work.

  18. This is all ridiculous. It’s not criticism, it’s flat out bashing.

    Sin Theorem is where they are because of good marketing. If you get annoyed by their numerous posts, why do you like them in the first place? I ENJOY hearing updates on bands I like.

    Agreed with the not posting on Nurse Ratched, but still.

    Bruxism, if they feel that is a great way to make themselves known, and it’s working, then who gives a crap?

    You’ve OBVIOUSLY never seen Medica perform because they are easily the greatest local band in the scene right now. Best live show I’ve seen hands down, and they DEFINITELY don’t think they’re the best.

    It doesn’t seem that the entire scene is pissed off at In Lies Within, it just seems that you’re pissed off at the entire scene.

    • You’re fucking right its all out bashing. I didn’t “Like” Sin Theorem, but they post on everyone else’s fucking page and annoy the shit out of them too. Medica is not the greatest band in the scene. You OBVIOUSLY don’t know what the fuck metal is.

  19. No offense to Medica or their music, but if you think they are “easily the greatest local band in the scene right now”, you must not have seen very many local bands. There are too many awesome bands in this state, it would be unfair for me to choose just one.

    And also, everyone should take what “Your Mom” says to heart if they want to make it to the big leagues. We first played with Battlecross back in ’07 and watched them go from being a decent band who’s set was half covers…to the very awesome band they are now. If there was any band in this state that deserved to get signed to Metal Blade…it was them. No one is gonna come save you from a career of mediocrity. You have to want it bad enough, work hard enough, and go out there and save yourself from it!

  20. how do you know that ‘your mom’ has anything to do with Battlecross? lol

  21. oh duhh. i said it, eh?

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